I can’t quite remember the first time I realized that my mom knew her stuff, but I do remember the phrase she used to show me. It’s one that has guided me through crushes, friendships, and disappointments – one that’s taught me that there’s only so much I can control before it (whatever it is) travels out of my hands.
“People do what they want to do…”
And you can’t control or change it, no matter how much you might pull your hair out trying. This simple sentence has over the years become a mantra for me to get through and deal with the people who frustrate, annoy, hurt and let me down – mainly because it’s true.
People will say things a thousand different ways – to please you, to avoid confrontation, because it’s what they think you want to hear – but in the end, they’ll do exactly what they want to do regardless of its impact on you. It’s hard for some people to accept it (they’ll rationalize or make excuses for that person) and in the end, they’ll waste so much time and energy on someone who doesn’t really think of them much at all.
My mom told me this was a phrase Nana (not sure of how I’m actually related to her) used to say – an “ism” she’d spout off, one that made a lot of sense to Mom so that when I came to her crying about that boy in chem. class junior year or how my “best friend” started those rumors about that girl, it was the first thing that came to her mind.
“People do what they want to do, KT…and sometimes it sucks, sometimes it’s not at all what you want them to do, but more often than not, it’ll all work out and it’ll be for the better.”
So far she’s been right. So, thanks Mom. You do know your s**t.
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So – yes I realize I’ve been extremely MIA lately – and getting worse! For that, I’m sorry and WILL make a better attempt to find something (or anything!) to say, especially since I realized that TODAY, yes today, is the ONE YEAR mark for me starting this blog – and wow has a lot happened in a year.
That is my happy birthday, and by birthday I clearly mean blogday, cupcake to me.
A lot can change in a year – hell, a lot can change in a day – and my philosophy is to roll with the punches, and throw a few of my own into the mix. That’s not always easy. As someone who since childhood has consistently maintained a vehement loathing for change, over the years, I have found myself time and again thrown something that causes me to react…and ultimately change.
At the dinner table when I was a kid and naturally didn’t want to eat something that looked vile and disgusting, my mom always told me about the “Learn to Like It Club.” As a product of the ’40’s/50’s, she’s a woman who grew up around evening radio broadcasts. One show that came on around dinnertime featured this “Learn to Like It” segment as wells the “Empty Plate Clubber’s” bit. Parents would call in and share if their little angel had successfully kept down the broccoli they swore they would throw up if forced to eat. “Learn To Like It” had a similar purpose – if a kid found that they actually enjoyed grapefruit, Mom or Dad would call in Cleaver-style and report this to all the listeners. How 1950’s.
Mom used a similar tactic with me, even though the show had been on static for 30+ years. That mind-set of “maybe you’ll just learn to like it” spilled over from my plate into my real life. And I actually think this is how I’ve adjusted to those big changes – each time I’ve packed a suitcase – thought about a job switch – toyed another move, I’ve done it solely because I had to learn to like the taste of change. And I think I have (sort- of)…
So here I am, one year later from that first post about moving to the Big City. And who knows where this next year will take me – perhaps in a year, I’ll find myself back up there, but I do promise to keep documenting it – because I know that even as I write this, my tastes are changing and that’s not necessarily a bad thing anymore.
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